Things I Can’t Change

  1. Wars
  2. The rising cost of getting by
  3. Starvation in our country and around the globe
  4. One day our pets will die
  5. That friends don’t live closer
  6. Constantly charging electronic devices
  7. Time passing
  8. Being criticized
  9. Traffic
  10. Privacy is no more
  11. What someone thinks of me
  12. Pleasing everyone
  13. Life is not always fair
  14. That day I will no longer be able to do 40# dead lifts
  15. People who don’t care
  16. True love never dies.
  17. Saving all the rescue animals
  18. Aging
  19. How I look
  20. Being less trustful
  21. Constant road construction
  22. That hope lives on

Whoa! Who knew I was so out of control??

Tulip Mosaic by me

Acceptance

Somehow we just accept the things we cannot change as The Serenity Prayer suggests. What else can we do? No choice here.

Accepting things you have no control over has benefits — so they say. Do any of these ring true for you?

  • More positive attitude thereby less worry and stress
  • Less energy drained from trying to figure things out
  • Ability to embrace change
  • Greater appreciation and gratitude
  • A more compassionate perspective
  • Letting go of the past

Not sure I’m onboard, but I’ll try — don’t think I can embrace change. Sounds good though. Not really feeling appreciation and gratitude about the way aging is doing its thing with my body.

But I just have to flat out accept that one, just like the others. Embracing change by accepting there’s less trust all around. I am working on coming to terms with this one, too.

Love

No. 17 strikes at the heart and mind. True love never dies. Can’t change this. Oh, but some do. This one is debatable based on what I read, but not for me.

I believe in true love never dies. I bet others of you do, too. Why believe otherwise? It isn’t specifically romantic love I’m talking about. It’s about love in our being and our actions.

We arrive in the world as a bundle of love and joy. To me, that’s a fact. We will always have that love in us.

That love will never go away. Just like our 9-year-old self is still within us, hasn’t gone anywhere — along with the love we had then.

Pinterest.com

I’m not aiming to be pollyannaish. There are many scenarios where we’re not feeling the love. Divorce might be one situation or strained family relations, losing friendships, etc.

It does not mean love isn’t present. In these situations love was there at some point. I happen to believe it is still there.

Love never dies. It might not be active, but it’s there — just like the 9-year-old in us. Still there.

Remember my friend, the dentist? He used to say that it is so much easier being positive because being negative requires more energy.

I think we can apply that principle here. It’s relatively simple to love. Pure acceptance. No judgments. No expectations. Feel good endorphins.

But not easy either, although loving for love’s sake comes as naturally as rain to some. I admire them.

It takes negative energy and effort to feel any other way. We may not necessarily like some people — I’m not asking to be your best friend. But love is our default.

All I know is that love never dies. It’s always there, lurking in the deepest crevices of the heart. Resurfacing for air when you allow it. http://www.upjourney.com/true-love

There are arguments made against true love never dying. I reject them all. I don’t even want to discuss them here to be fair. Just not feeling it.

To think otherwise is depressing for me. If we don’t believe true love never dies, how could we function? How would we slog through our trials and tribulations?

For at least five or so years, I sent out Valentine’s Day cards to family, friends, acquaintances. It’s my most-loved small day of remembrance.

A favorite aunt and uncle were always so appreciative. They said no one ever did things like that for them. They liked being remembered. I enjoyed doing it. Absolute selfishness on my part.

I didn’t expect a thing in return. After I stopped sending the cards, some would say they missed the Valentine. Have you stopped sending them?

True love never dies is what I feel for them. That years ago feeling is still here within me. Alive and well.

Love Still Rules.

Trust

No. 20 is a biggie. Truth and honesty have always meant so much to me. Truth matters. It’s fading away.

My mother drilled into my head to tell the truth all the time and I did. I lied to her once. It was my senior year in high school.

When I worked at the printing company, one of my duties was to make the company’s daily checks deposit. I went through the bank drive-thru. Made the deposit.

Proceeded to the road to exit by making a right-hand turn. I cut the turn short, hitting a car, and putting a dent in mine. When she saw this and asked about it, I thought she might be getting mad.

I took a risk. I responded that I hadn’t noticed that and some kid at school must have hit me. I don’t know whether she believed me, but there was never another mention of it.

Through the years, I have been guilty of trusting too much — people and entities. I know this but I can’t help it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. We have to trust people — especially that airline pilot.

I do miss there being more truth in my life and in our world. I feel a bit unsteady. Part of my life’s foundation is based on trust and telling the truth and being honest with myself and others. I want people to trust me.

As a child playing ball in a neighbor’s backyard, I accidentally threw the ball through a basement window. It left a hole in the glass.

I immediately confessed to the homeowners. The word in the neighborhood was I was the only kid around who would fess up to something. I felt I needed to tell the truth.

I don’t know the exact moment it crept into consciousness that my trust had a crack in it. My innocence and naïveté were uncovered. I used to never doubt things.

For many reasons now, I can’t accept what I see, hear, or read as being true and authentic. So many things now end with a question mark.

I lived in a trust bubble where everything was authentic and real. That’s gone. I yearn for that feeling again. It was unrealistic in the first place, but it got me by.

My mother used to tell me I looked at life through rose-colored glasses. This wasn’t a compliment. This type of thinking probably helped along the way.

I believed in truth too much and too long anyway — denial. It would upset my apple cart. My foundation crumbled, and there’s no getting it back. I wish it weren’t so.

dreamstime.com

Final thoughts

Truth is important; I value it — no matter the situation. I hope people are comfortable enough that they can tell me the truth — good or bad. I’ll make it through.

I have learned that true love never dies agrees with me and warms my heart, but not all hearts. The same is sometimes true about trust. I get that truthiness can be in play.

Trust isn’t just a people thing. Companies and organizations have a responsibility to us to be forthright. Isn’t this why there’s the BBB?

I realize, after the fact, I picked two subjects to write about which are over my head: love and trust.

Such broad topics with such power — better left to professionals, spiritualists, whistleblowers, and watchdog groups. This is just my 2 cents worth, that’s all.

Please feel free to leave your 2 cents worth — or more. Thank you for reading, Yvonne.

Collage made on scanner

Sources

http://www.youhaveacalling.com

Notes
August 4 is National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day – Enjoy!
August 4 is also National White Wine Day – Cheers!

6 comments

  1. I love this issue!
    Number 13 is one I’ve struggled with all of my life.
    I still believe Life should be fair.
    Also, trying to stop trying to figure things or a person out. I’ve learned it is wasted energy.

    Thank you for this awesome issue! 😊

    1. Lona, I agree wholeheartedly. Some seem to move through life with such ease. I have had this discussion with my therapist a few times. I’m like “why me” going through this when others are unaffected. Arlene encourages me about unfairness by saying we really don’t know what other people are going through. Yes, trying to figure things and people out is frustrating. I have issues on things like that and ask myself why I care, but I do. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. 💕 Thank you for your kind words and glad you enjoyed the issue.

  2. I always love your articles Yvonne. I’ve always been a people pleaser, but as I have aged, I have learned to let go and not be so concerned about making everyone in my life happy. That’s a heavy burden! I’m also learning to let go over things I have no control over, and learning everything doesn’t always have to be perfect. I’ve always been a worry wart…working on that too. Life is short and I’m trying to treat myself better and not putting everything ahead of caring for myself. I must say you have a true talent in your writing abilities. Luv ya!

    1. Judy, you said everything so well. I so wish I could get past worrying. We can just drive ourselves up the wall keeping up with everything you mention. We aren’t equipped to do and be all these things society sends our way. Aging is such a blessing. For years and years I read self-improvement books so I could get things right. I finally decided to quit reading those books and just start living my life. I realized I was good enough. It’s been liberating. Good luck coming to terms with things. Thank you so much for reading and leaving comments. Glad you enjoy the articles and thank you for your kind words about writing — no clue where it comes from. ❤️❤️

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