A little startled, ”What’s that sound?” The clock reads 4:40 a.m. Oh, it’s Sage sharpening his claws on the scratching post in my bedroom. When he does this in the early mornings, he’s letting me know he’s ready for breakfast. Thankfully, this is not an every day occurrence.
I remove myself from my warm and cozy spot in the bed next to Ellie. I amble to the kitchen, open the refrigerator, and give Sage his food.
Of late, I make Sage and Ellie’s breakfast the evening before when I prepare their dinner. It makes for a calmer first-thing-in-the-morning routine.
Then I reach in the cabinet and pull out my bag of TastyKake mini chocolate frosted doughnuts and grab a Coke Zero. I have five at a time. Feel free to call me a pig.
I know they are nothing but empty calories. They are one of my many guilty pleasures.
I’m back in bed, all comfy and happy with my goodies and pillows propped upright behind me. It’s 5:00 now. I turn on the TV news. Why did I do that? Two explosions in Kyiv, apartment buildings on fire. I don’t really want to watch this terror every day.
I am afraid if I stop watching, I’ll take the war less seriously. Even worse, I’m afraid, as Pink Floyd sings, I’ll become “comfortably numb” to the plight of these courageous Ukrainians. I so admire their passion and their love of country. Glory to Ukraine!
Finished the doughnuts, turned off the TV. Time to play Wordle. It is a good morning. I guess it on the third try. The word is trash.
Now I turn to The Spelling Bee, part of the NYT games package. If you love words, you should enjoy Spelling Bee. The Times teases it for free online.
However, if you want to actually experience the game, you need a subscription. I prefer Spelling Bee to Wordle. They’re both good.
I bought the game package and paid about $40 for a year — you can buy by the month for about $4.25, I think. Worth a try.
There are several other games in the package, including the NYT crossword puzzle. It also includes a mini-crossword, which is more my speed and challenging enough.
If you’re not already familiar with it, check it out if you like gaming on your phone or tablet. I recommend it.
I finish playing games for the time being. I’ll be back later. I turn off the TV and the bedside lamp. I snuggle back under the cozy covers. I rest comfortably on my side with eyes open and reflect on things.
The first thing which comes to mind is the outpatient procedure I had Tuesday. No big deal; I’m perfectly fine.
Among other things, I was thinking how amazing it is that they give you anesthesia to numb your whole body (or maybe just the area they’re working on) and then begin just cutting away.
What a medical miracle. We’ve come a long way from the bottle of whiskey they used on Gunsmoke.
The doctor emailed last night. The tests came back negative. ”Good News, no signs of cancer,” she wrote. Sigh of relief. I wish everyone would get that kind of news when they go in for tests.
So, that was the good news. The not so good news is my insurance does not cover the drug the doctor has prescribed. I have applied for an exception. I didn’t know I could do this.
Think I’ll Read Now
I’m reading Nightwoods by Charles Frazier. He’s the author of Cold Mountain. A friend recommended it. It reminds me of Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens. So much of the stories take place outdoors, very woodsy, and remote.
I’m having a little trouble warming up to Nightwoods. To be honest, I’m just not that ”in” to the outdoors. I enjoy a nice hike. Waterfalls you may happen upon. Wildlife. Scenery. Neat rock formations.
Maybe I am a bit outdoorsy.
Will put the book aside for now. The bad guy wound up on the top of a mountain with a bunch of deer hunters. Figure it is a good time to take a break.
Let’s see. What shall it be today? I think peanut butter on the not-good-for-you bread. In actuality, it’s not even pure peanut butter. It is called ”nuts ‘n more.”
It is marketed as a spread — “protein superfood.” It comes in a lot of flavors. I have salted caramel. The sugar content is 1 gram less than natural PB. Only has 2 grams of sugar.
The protein is 11 grams. The natural PB has 7. Of course, I’m guessing these numbers will vary based on flavor.
Since the two are so comparable, I’m in for the superfood. The only downside is the spread is $$$. What can I say — another guilty pleasure. http://www.nuts-n-more.com
Time for a walk.
You probably wonder what I think about on my walks. Okay, probably not. I’ll disclose some anyway.
Some days, and today was one, I mentally beat myself up for saying something I wish I hadn’t. I waste time ruminating on what I said. I mean no malice or harm.
Just could have gone without saying anything. I tell myself I’m not perfect. I know this feeling will revisit.
After I’m finished giving myself the business, I mentally take in a deep breath and then another, with big exhales in between, and forgive myself. I don’t need to keep that emotional baggage in me. It’s all about self-compassion.
Highly recommended reading: Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff. She is an associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin’s Department of Educational Psychology. She has a TED Talk.
It was a life changer for me.
I had read this book and was telling my therapist at the time how good I felt as I read it. She ended up reading it.
She sometimes recommends it to some of the people she counsels (at least she used to). http://www.self-compassion.org
We’ve been invited to a party next month. We are not party people. So, ”What to wear?”
Yesterday, as luck would have it, I found something in the back of one of the closets I think will work. I have shoes even. Hallelujah! I don’t have to go shopping — online or in person. Not a fan of shopping — used to love it.
As I walk, I wonder whether what I dug out from the closet is good enough after all. Stop overthinking. Wear it. No need to fret.
I think also about a phone call I am looking forward to having Wednesday afternoon with a high school friend. We haven’t talked since then.
She mentioned in an email our 50th high school class reunion is this year. I paused in shock for a moment. I haven’t been to any of mine.
We have connected recently only because of this blog. Janine, my buddy with the ice cream truck, mentioned the friend might like to be added to the mailing list.
The rest is history as they say. I can’t wait for our phone visit!
Speaking of the mailing list, if you know anyone you think might enjoy The Bruno Papers, I would love to add them to the distribution list. Just let me know — text, phone, email, in-person. It’s always nice adding new readers. Thank You!
Just finished dinner: fat free plain Chobani yogurt, with Kashi peanut butter cereal, and frozen wild blueberries. I add a little stevia so I can tolerate the yogurt. Ha!
If you like yogurt parfaits, Publix makes them fresh. Vanilla flavored yogurt, all kinds of fresh fruit, with granola. They are pretty darn good. I recommend.
I hate to end this TGIF negatively. Today has been a winner and then 4:30 rolls around and someone rattles my cage. Nothing of any consequence.
But I can make it a teachable moment. I need to get better about recognizing and working with people and places I have no control over — which is pretty much everyone and everything. It becomes frustrating and who needs that?
I admit I have let this tiny piece of drama dampen my evening a little. I don’t like ending a post on a sour note. So what do I do to fix that? I turn to my pal, Ellie.
What a charmer. Thanks! sweet Ellie. I’m back in the pink already!
We loved with a love that was more than love.
–Edgar Allan Poe
Thank You so much for reading.